My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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