Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
