alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize