Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize