I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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