we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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