Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
