I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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