What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
