Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

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  (312): i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude. http://tfl.nu/vz4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1034) Bad night (641)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus

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  (202): respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus http://tfl.nu/nfd9
  Replies (26) Good night (821) Bad night (3560)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year

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  (702): You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year http://tfl.nu/juhc
  Replies (45) Good night (4847) Bad night (665)
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  (510): View more from California

  At what point did I eat out of your mouth?

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  (510): At what point did I eat out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/tcp8
  Replies (9) Good night (988) Bad night (4330)
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  (805): View more from California

  I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.

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  (805): I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close. http://tfl.nu/wx41
  Replies (5) Good night (800) Bad night (2102)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids

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  (970): Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids http://tfl.nu/uov9
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (2190)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?

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  (717): I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going? http://tfl.nu/uz7v
  Replies (3) Good night (1891) Bad night (661)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.

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  (505): I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking. http://tfl.nu/gybt
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (983)
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  (842): View more from

  we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone

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  (842): we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone http://tfl.nu/yvho
  Replies (11) Good night (2411) Bad night (881)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.

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  (330): I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/wf9d
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (581)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea

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  (906): Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea http://tfl.nu/gfkd
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (838)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.

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  (732): I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/lb71
  Replies (4) Good night (1110) Bad night (294)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper

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  (704): I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper http://tfl.nu/u2a8
  Replies (12) Good night (963) Bad night (327)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS

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  (610): YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS http://tfl.nu/d44z
  Replies (5) Good night (370) Bad night (720)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas

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  (308): I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas http://tfl.nu/d21x
  Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (176)

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