just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
