Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk

  (678): View more from Georgia

  discrete masterbation is a lost art

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  (770): Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk (678): discrete masterbation is a lost art http://tfl.nu/z067
  Replies (32) Good night (787) Bad night (2824)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.

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  (703): I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is. http://tfl.nu/7kmq
  Replies (53) Good night (898) Bad night (3200)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

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  (917): had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary. http://tfl.nu/06cp
  Replies (6) Good night (3931) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.

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  (617): creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/jtst
  Replies (3) Good night (1194) Bad night (4392)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night

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  (262): some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/wjmk
  Replies (7) Good night (5421) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"

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  (970): I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983" http://tfl.nu/egdi
  Replies (31) Good night (1012) Bad night (5706)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate

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  (512): I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate http://tfl.nu/79c0
  Replies (7) Good night (3409) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?

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  (310): I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me? http://tfl.nu/lgs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2585) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, you are the most awesome.

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  (704): She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket. (1-704): I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court. (704): Dude, you are the most awesome. http://tfl.nu/z7ku
  Replies (17) Good night (3227) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...

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  (229): He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother... http://tfl.nu/bv7d
  Replies (8) Good night (885) Bad night (2568)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.

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  (516): Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night. http://tfl.nu/4blv
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

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  (973): You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated http://tfl.nu/yaej
  Replies (6) Good night (1206) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.

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  (607): I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year. http://tfl.nu/ajj5
  Replies (4) Good night (1398) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.

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  (616): I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once. http://tfl.nu/2lkb
  Replies (6) Good night (634) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account

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  (515): you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account http://tfl.nu/u05o
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (553)

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