Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck. http://tfl.nu/pefb
  Replies (8) Good night (1569) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over. http://tfl.nu/b7hl
  Replies (62) Good night (8135) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat http://tfl.nu/yghv
  Replies (18) Good night (4739) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay http://tfl.nu/f4sg
  Replies (21) Good night (3943) Bad night (1704)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete.. http://tfl.nu/bykt
  Replies (28) Good night (5450) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is... http://tfl.nu/4q16
  Replies (4) Good night (2497) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15 http://tfl.nu/scbj
  Replies (7) Good night (2629) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE http://tfl.nu/bmko
  Replies (7) Good night (3846) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless. http://tfl.nu/ejtk
  Replies (19) Good night (3296) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti... http://tfl.nu/mzxu
  Replies (3) Good night (824) Bad night (1632)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen http://tfl.nu/gv17
  Replies (12) Good night (1632) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years http://tfl.nu/w11g
  Replies (2) Good night (1211) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook. http://tfl.nu/9v3n
  Replies (8) Good night (2028) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it! (770): Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you. http://tfl.nu/kg3y
  Replies (10) Good night (1910) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud http://tfl.nu/ci86
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (293)

Randomize