Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff