Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.

(817): View more from Texas

I guess it was more of a nightmare.

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(817): I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to. (817): I guess it was more of a nightmare. http://tfl.nu/fsml

Replies (60) Good night (1043) Bad night (4050)
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(503): View more from Oregon

why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know but we should still do that

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(503): why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men? (541): I don't know but we should still do that http://tfl.nu/3rqy

Replies (20) Good night (5197) Bad night (735)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.

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(203): They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court. http://tfl.nu/8rt0

Replies (10) Good night (6323) Bad night (905)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.

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(306): When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again. http://tfl.nu/vfit

Replies (5) Good night (4384) Bad night (1302)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he even offered to make my bed in the morning.

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(215): he even offered to make my bed in the morning. http://tfl.nu/d13v

Replies (37) Good night (8231) Bad night (1130)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.

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(215): I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me. http://tfl.nu/0b6p

Replies (6) Good night (3286) Bad night (1184)
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(207): View more from Maine

And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.

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(207): And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition. http://tfl.nu/ff1h

Replies (4) Good night (1167) Bad night (2568)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.

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(816): I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water. http://tfl.nu/fay5

Replies (10) Good night (1193) Bad night (2430)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I believe some people would call last night an orgy.

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(757): I believe some people would call last night an orgy. http://tfl.nu/5qwc

Replies (7) Good night (3863) Bad night (845)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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(479): This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!" http://tfl.nu/9tko

Replies (26) Good night (958) Bad night (1753)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

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(704): So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ... http://tfl.nu/bcgx

Replies (5) Good night (508) Bad night (1126)
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(818): View more from California

Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20

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(818): Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20 http://tfl.nu/6e47

Replies (2) Good night (1215) Bad night (386)
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(416): View more from Toronto

We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.

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(416): We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there. http://tfl.nu/uram

Replies (2) Good night (1598) Bad night (532)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.

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(303): Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass. http://tfl.nu/tyko

Replies (5) Good night (720) Bad night (573)
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(716): View more from New York

We found Mulan.

(409): View more from Texas

I thought you were in bed what the hell

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(716): We found Mulan. (409): I thought you were in bed what the hell http://tfl.nu/ar2j

Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (241)

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