No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
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Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.