The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.