he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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