I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
