Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
