i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
