she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
NoShamevember. You game?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
