Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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