Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
