u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
