I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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