We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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