I cockslap morals
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
