Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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