She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
