community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
that may or may not have been my penis.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
