then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
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She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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