Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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