Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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