you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
