I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
