Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize