508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
