This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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