Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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