I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
