I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
