Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This is not my ceiling
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
