After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
