I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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