Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
