No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
