I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
