My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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