Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
