I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
That's intense
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
