Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
