i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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