So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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