That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
