Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
