My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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