the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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