Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
