it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
