also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
