He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I want her autograph on my taint
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
