By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
