I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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