I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
