I just threw up on my dentist
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize