Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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