This is not my ceiling
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize