Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
