As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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