why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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