This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
